Time for a Change

So if you've known me for any length of time, you know battling my weight is an issue for me.  I could probably write for days and days about my lifelong struggle with weight.  It has consumed a great portion of my life, sadly.  I have been "dieting" for as long as I can remember...even back to the days when my grandma used to make me one of her Alba 77 shakes as a snack.  Anyone else remember those??  Anyway, I digress.

I am no stranger to formal weight loss plans.  You name it, I've done it.  Diet Center?  Yep.  Jenny Craig?  Yep.  Weight Watchers?  Countless times.  HCG diet?  Mmmhmmm.    Done them all, been somewhat successful on most of them for a time.  Problem was, they were just a temporary fix.  I never saw them through until the end.  I did it for awhile, but never addressed the root of the problem.

Two years ago I turned 40.  Still extremely overweight, still the girl with the pretty face and the beautiful smile that could light up the room.  Sadly, the beautiful smile was a cover up for so much pain.  Somehow, I had let myself slip into the worst shape of  my entire life.  Not only was I a little overweight, but I had gotten to a place that I never, ever want to be again.

At nearly 42, I was in the largest size of clothes most "normal" stores carry.  As the school year was starting, and everything I owned was uncomfortably tight, I was buying pants in a size 24.  Twenty-four.  They don't make them bigger than that without ordering them online.   My couch and I were far too familiar with one another, and after a long day of teaching all I wanted to do was to just sit.  All night.  I was tired, all the time!  Nothing was really fun anymore.  I was finding excuses and what I thought were valid reasons to avoid doing things with my family.  Anything that involved walking around or anything slightly physical was taxing to me.  Going up a flight of stairs left me absolutely breathless and I would avoid them at all costs.  Mirrors?  Ha!  I became a pro at walking past a mirror and looking away just so I didn't have to face reality.  Over the summer I took a trip to South Carolina with some of my co-workers.  We took pictures one evening and I truly thought that what I was wearing was somewhat flattering...as much as it could be.  But when I saw the pictures I wanted to just crawl into a hole and hide.  How did it happen?  How had I let myself become this person who felt anything but normal while standing next to others??

In January of 2014, my friend Lisa and I started a health challenge.  I was going to make good choices, exercise more, and lose weight.  She had watched her good friend completely change her life and was ready to do the same.  As the month went on, I lost a pound or two, but nothing substantial.  Lisa, however, was transforming right before my very eyes.  Every time we would get together she was smaller and smaller, and just happier and more confident.  I was in awe of what she was doing, and was admittedly jealous of her success.  Within 10 months, she had shed 100 pounds!  She looked and felt amazing!  Her friend had lost, and successfully kept off over 200 pounds!  I knew I had to give it a try.  So in October, I made the decision to take my life back.  I thought about waiting until after the holidays were over because I knew it would be challenging, but when I really started thinking about it, the 2-3 days of food I would miss out on was nothing compared to the nearly 10 weeks I had to start changing my life.  I had thought to myself, "If I can lose 20-30 pounds by January, it will have been worth it to miss out on the holiday foods."  I am SO glad I didn't wait!!

I started my new program on October 20 and have been losing steadily ever since.  I am currently down over 40 pounds and 2-3 clothing sizes!  The majority of clothes in my closet no longer fit me...they are TOO big!!  I no longer fear that flight of stairs...it doesn't wind me anymore.  I even choose to park farther away and walk.  Can you believe that??

Today, I went shopping to try and find a few essential pieces to carry me through the next couple of months (because 40 pounds is just a start for me!).  Out of habit I reached for 3X tops and size 24 pants and I was browsing, then had an "aha" moment!  I am NOT those sizes anymore!!!  I nearly started crying when size 1X and 18's were fitting very easily.  I even picked up a pair of size 18 jeans thinking, there's no way these are going to fit, but I'll try anyway.  Well, imagine my surprise when they not only fit, but they were fairly loose!!  I could go on for days and days about this, but that's enough for now.  I'm sure I'll share more as I experience more victories.

For my sweet friends who have never had a challenge with their weight before, much of this just will not resonate with you.  Everyone has their challenges in life, but if weight isn't one of yours, you just can't truly understand the struggle of despising your image or the sheer joy of clothes fitting the way they were intended to.

For my friends who CAN understand what I'm sharing here and are ready to make a change, please consider joining me.  I have decided to become a health coach with Take Shape for Life and I am so looking forward to helping YOU make a change.  The new year is right around the corner...won't you join me?  I sure wish I had joined Lisa a year ago!

For the first time in a LONG time, I purposely wanted to take pictures this Christmas...and actually be IN them!  I love who I am becoming and that I am CHOOSING to live my life...not just let it pass me by.  Happy New Year and stay tuned for more adventures from me.  Au Revoir, Little Biscuit!